2020 is the perfect metaphor for what it's like doing a PhD

2020 has been an interesting year. Bush fire swept across Australia. Donald Trump was impeached. The situation between the U.S and Iran escalated. Oh and in case you missed it there was a global pandemic that caused nationwide lockdowns, economic crashes and pushed healthcare systems to the point of breaking. Describing 2020 as “a rough year” would be the understatement of the decade.
The level of disruption caused by the pandemic has touched every industry; businesses have been forced to work from home when, just a few months prior to lockdown, they would have said it was impossible. As a PhD researcher I would have said the same; before lockdown I spent 70 – 80% of my time in the lab. As much fun as it would be to have a lab at home I have been unable to do my job for 5 months. Hundreds and thousands of PhD researchers and post-doc’s have been in the same situation.
No one was ready for this, the restrictions came quickly and trying to build a new way to work has taken time. As part of a University, and because we work in labs, this has been an extremely slow process. I was told several times to expect to be back “in the next few weeks.” I already knew the new procedures would take some getting used; some have been easy, like social distancing and wearing masks, while others are harder to remember, like cleaning down door handles before and after use and yelling up and down corridors to make sure you don’t come near another human.
Learning these new ways of working is going to be difficult. Everyone is trying to adapt to the new world, but there is one thing I realised recently – all of this chaos and change is something that PhD researchers should be used to. While 2020 has been difficult anyone who has done or is doing a PhD has trained to handle this kind of disruption; dealing with 2020 is just like dealing with a PhD.

Expect the unexpected
When this pandemic started, and as it continues, people have enjoyed using the word “unprecedented” and it is a good word to use – no one has experienced anything like this since Spanish flu and no one saw it coming (although some countries had weeks to prepare and choose to waste that time anyway). 2020 is the epitome of Murphy’s law, which states that “if something can go wrong, it will go wrong.” Throughout this year disaster has followed disaster, chaos has followed chaos. When you’re doing a PhD the same principle applies. If an experiment can go wrong it will go wrong. If a sudden deadline can pop up and throw your schedule into chaos it will happen. If a supplier can take months to get you essential reagents, they will. During a PhD you have to plan ahead, the unexpected and the unprecedented will crop up surprisingly often to try to ruin your plans. This time it was a global pandemic that tried to ruin your plans. Whether you’re just starting out or are in your final year a PhD is about learning to deal with this chaos and still achieve your goals. A PhD is training to deal with with chaos.

Not enough time or too much?
During a PhD there can be periods where you feel like you are doing so much you don’t have the time to fit everything in. Then there are other times when you feel like you have nothing to do, you’ve just submitted a paper, finished one stream of work and ticked off everything on today’s to do list. Then the guilt sets in and you feel like you should be busy working and you can’t enjoy your well-earned rest. To try and stop this guilt you find things to fill your time. This endless cycle has led to poor work life balance, burnt-out and the generally stressful working conditions seen in academia; you feel like you can never stop being productive.
For the last few months anyone who used to work in a lab has not been able to do 70% of their job (if not more). No more running 6 hour long experiments, no staying late to finish collecting data for a paper and no more Friday afternoon experiments to see if that mad idea you came up with will work. This means that guilty feeling, of not being busy, is permanently hanging over your head because there is only so much work you can do when you’re not in a lab. Everyone has had to find ways to spend their extra time, writing literature reviews, making a start on their thesis or reading the backlog of papers they’ve been meaning to read.
In the current situation and during a PhD we need to learn to let go of this guilt. You don’t always have to be working. Not every day needs to be productive. Even before lockdown I had days where I spent the morning doing experiments that produced no good data and then was in pointless meetings all afternoon. These days happen, and it’s easy to feel like it’s your fault when they do.
One of my favourite philosophical quotes to remember when this feeling starts to creep in is by the Stoic Seneca; “Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.” That should be the motto for 2020, and for a PhD. This year has shown all of us that life can been chaotic. There is so much going on that is out of our control, you don’t need to add the pressure of making your day productive. Just be proud that you survived the day.

Do what you can with the time you have
During a PhD you feel like you have to say yes to everything; go to every meeting, attend every conference and take on every project that comes across your path. But, like in life, saying yes to everything means saying no to other things; there is always a cost. Saying yes to that meeting is time you could spend in the lab. Going to that conference means hours that could be better spent with friends and family. Taking on that project today means ignoring another more promising project next week.
In my PhD program we get kicked out of the lab three months before our thesis is due. The university do this to give us dedicated time to writing, but they also know that given the choice many of us would be in the lab up until the deadline, desperately trying to collect more data. This approach frustrates some people because they feel like they are losing time. But what they don’t realise is that whether it’s three months, three weeks or three days, they will always want more time. They think that if they had just a little more then they’ll be done. But in lab work there is very rarely a definitive end. As the thesis deadline approaches PhD researchers are forced to learn that there is only so much we can do in the time we are given.
The same is true in lockdown, only we don’t know when it will end. But it will end eventually. All you can do is make use of the time you have in front of you and fill it with things you actually care about. Yes you should be working on that literature review, but also don’t feel bad if after work you sit down with your significant other and watch a movie – don’t feel guilty about how you spend your time. If you want to take up a new hobby or learn a skill then do it, but also don’t feel bad if your only goal for the day was to get out of bed and make some toast. Take the small victories where you can, and do the best with the time you have. Another favourite quote of mine is from the always wise Gandalf “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.” So whether you’re in lockdown or doing a PhD - accept that you can only focus on what you can do right now, and that is enough.

You need a support network
This year has put a strain on everyone’s mental health. Combine that with the stress of doing a PhD and you have a recipe for disaster. Personally I am an extreme introvert, so at the start of lockdown I was content; this was a chance to recharge my batteries and spend some quality time alone. This worked for the first few months, but as time wore on I started to crave social interaction. I love my wife and my dog but I was desperate to see and talk to someone else. I had regular Teams meetings with my supervisor and research group but digital conversations aren’t a long term substitute for genuine social interaction. Thankfully this feeling was relieved when the U.K eased restrictions and we were able to go and socially distance from family.
A similar process can happen in a PhD. You throw yourself into your work and you’re either at work when you could be at home or when you are home you are constantly picking up your laptop to do just 5 minutes of emails which turns into an hour. When this happens social interaction can be forgotten, you miss a call from a parent, you don’t send that message to that friend you’ve been meaning to catch up with. Then you wonder why you are so stressed and beginning to burn out.
So far this has been a difficult year and everyone is struggling, but without a support network you are only making it more difficult. If 2020 has taught us anything, it’s that humans aren’t made to be isolated. Maybe you’re reading this still under lockdown, waiting to return to work or its a few months down the line and you’re back in the lab trying to make up for the time you’ve lost. Wherever and whenever you are reading this - don’t forget to set aside some social time. Whether it’s visiting family, complaining with friends about how much you hate that person in your lab who steals your pipette tips or going for an evening walk with your significant other – you can’t survive alone.

Conclusion
When it comes to pandemics history has had plenty – Ancient Rome had plagues, a century ago there was Spanish flu, and don’t even get me started on the Black Death – all caused massive social damage. The COVID-19 pandemic has been no different and trying to complete a PhD in this environment feels like fighting a losing battle. But history has taught us that no matter how hard a year is, humans have a habit of enduring the unendurable. Likewise, if you talk to any supervisor, post-doc or senior academic they will tell you how many PhD researchers they have seen successful get their PhD.
Just try and remember that you can’t prepare for every possibility, you can only focus on what you control right now, even if you can only get a small victory - take it. And in the future when people ask “what’s it like doing a PhD” you can tell them: it’s like living through 2020.