A Cautionary Tale

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A cabin ready for a wizard to cast spells - image courtesy of Unsplash.

A good wizard keeps things in order. To remind themselves of this fact there is a saying amongst wizards - “An untidy wizard makes a good rocking horse.” The origin of this saying is debated, but many historians claim that it started with a boy named Dalton.

Dalton left potions unlabelled, he regularly misplaced spell books and if you asked him where his wand was he would respond with a lengthy “uhmm…” He was not a good wizard. In fact, he wasn’t even a qualified wizard; his time as a magic student had been cut short two years early. He was expelled after he turned a senior wizard's hat into an eagle, while they were still wearing it. Without finishing his training he couldn’t work for a king, or even a lesser noble. 

When he was kicked out of the university Dalton was angry. He didn’t think he was that bad at magic. Defiant, he decided that he would go away and teach himself magic – surely it couldn’t be that hard?

He found an abandoned farmhouse in a secluded valley, many miles from the nearest town. He’d been walking for days and had eaten the last of the food he’d brought, so his first job was to create food. This also happened to be one of the first tests he’d failed during his time at the university. He set out gathering the materials for a conjuring spell. After a few hours hungrily roaming the woods around the valley he had gathered what he needed. He scavenged a mortar and pestle from the farmhouse kitchen and started mixing. First he ground fresh herbs, willow bark, and rabbit bones together. Next he added the leaves of an oak sapling, to create a gritty green paste. Finally, he went to add river water collected when the sun was at the midday peak. But as usual, Dalton had failed to keep things in order. He hadn’t labelled any of the cups he’d used for collecting ingredients. Instead he added river water collected when the sun was setting. Instantly a blue cloud of smoke engulfed the room. This was followed by an explosion which, if Dalton had still been standing there, would have scattered bits of Daltons across the walls. Instead, surrounded by a heap of clothes, stood a wooden rocking horse that bore a striking resemblance to Dalton.

So the next time a wizard asks you why it’s important to be orderly you can answer: “An untidy wizard makes a good rocking horse.”